A Plot
by Angel-son of Caesar
Summary: Try to find one. I dare you.
1. About The Author

**A Plot**

Basic Overview: Try to find one. I dare you.

**Disclaimer: regdaxecagbdtseb. I own nothing, except perhaps the keyboard I just face-planted into a couple times.**

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The Marauders were sitting in the Gryffindor common room.

Well, the Marauders except for Peter, because The Author doesn't particularly like him.

Wait.

You've never met The Author, have you?

Well, The Author is this wonderful being who writes these wonderful tales about...well, about whatever the heck The Author wants.

The Author is all-powerful in the realm of The Author's stories, and therefore The Author can do whatever The Author wants to do in stories written by The Author.

The Author has all sorts of incredible tools which are fun to use (including plot devices) in stories written by The Author.

However, there is a catch.

The Author must create a setting, characters, and plot (including a beginning, middle, and end) to create a story that readers will enjoy.

That is what all those fun tools are for.

But, on one particular Monday morning before school, The Author was feeling very lazy and very loopy.

So, The Author decided to break many of those rules.

Instead, The Author just wrote whatever came to the mind of The Author and didn't worry about how good it was.

The Author sincerely hopes you enjoy this story.


	2. Introducing the Characters

**A Plot**

The Author would like you to know that The Author wants reviews.

Like, 5 of them.

Please?

**Disclaimer: opnuijhlmnu. I own nothing, except perhaps the keyboard I just face-planted into a couple times.**

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The Marauders were sitting in the Gryffindor common room.

Well, the Marauders except for Peter, because the Author doesn't particularly like him.

You know who The Author is, The Author explained that in the last chapter.

Anyway, back to the story.

The three Marauders were sitting with Lily Evans.

Wait.

You don't know these characters.

WELL, the Marauders are these four guys, but The Author will only talk about three of them, the three really cool ones.

James Potter. Messy black hair, hazel eyes, Quidditch star, nicknamed Prongs because he can turn into a stag, in love with Lily Evans.

Sirius Black. Y'know, Sirius?

Remus Lupin. Werewolf, smart, nicknamed Moony (cuz he's a werewolf; get it?).

Lily Evans. Red hair, green eyes, smart, loves James but doesn't realize it (she thinks she hates him), kind of a goody-goody two-shoes.

Okay.

Now that that's over with, The Author can return to The Author's story.

Right after you give The Author five reviews.

That's five (5), the number that comes after four (4), which, in turn, comes after three (3), which comes after two (2), which comes after one (1), which comes after zero (0), which means nothing.

You know, five.

Sabes, cinco.

If you give The Author five (5) reviews, The Author might make something happen next chapter! Yay!


	3. Lily's Antagonist

**A Plot**

The Author loves those of you who reviewed extremely quickly!

The Author also wants another five (5) reviews, bringing the total number of reviews for this story to eleven (11).

**Disclaimer: qedacsxrwfs. I own nothing, except perhaps the keyboard I just face-planted into a couple times.**

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The Marauders (except for Peter, cuz The Author doesn't like him) were sitting in the Gryffindor common room with Lily.

The Author decided that Sirius and Remus would be heterosexual, that James and Lily would be friends, that James would be hopelessly in love with Lily, and that Lily would be hopelessly in love with James.

Here's the catch: The Author, wanting to add excitement to the non-existant plot, decided to mess with Lily and not let her know that she was in love with James! (**AN:** Don't tell Lily!)

Anyway, Remus was reading, Sirius wasn't doing anything (he was really bored, though), Lily was doing homework, and James was talking to Lily.

Now, James hadn't asked Lily out in months, but The Author thought that writing about that would be boring, so The Author decided to have James ask Lily out again right now.

"Hey Evans," said James.

Lily looked up at James and raised her eyebrows (both at once, in a confused manner, not suggestively).

"Go out with me?" asked James.

Lily rolled her eyes, because she seems to do that a lot and The Author thought it would be good to include that, do you think it's good? Say so in your reviews, please.

Anyway, Lily was all, "No," and James was all, "Why?" and she was like, "Don't wanna," and he was like, "C'mon," but she was all, "No way!"

And that was final.

For now.

So then, just to mess with Lily some more and perhaps show the faintest traces of a plot, The Author decided to introduce a new character, a transfer from Beauxbatons (**AN:** Did The Author spell that correctly?) into Gryffindor.

Think of a really hot girl.

Now think of a hotter girl.

Okay, good.

Make her a bit hotter.

No, no, too much.

Perfect.

That's what this new character looks like.

The Author didn't know what to call The New Character, so The Author just called The New Character "Lily's Antagonist" because that's what Lily's Antagonist was: Lily's antagonist.

The Author will continue to refer to Lily's Antagonist as Lily's Antagonist, or Lily's Ant for short, and occasionally just "her" or "she."

Anyway, Lily's Antagonist came inside the common room and thought Lily's Antagonist would have a quick snog with Sirius.

The Author thought differently.

Lily's Antagonist and Sirius came out of a broom closet about three hours later.

See, one of The Author's powers is to mess with time and stuff like that.

Then, using a plot device, The Author brought Lily's Antagonist and Sirius back to the common room.

After having witnessed the pair in the broom closet, The Author decided to put an end to THAT relationship, and all characters in this fanfic promptly forgot the last three hours (another one of The Author's amazing powers).

Well, they didn't exactly forget it, but those memories were replaced with loops of Colin's Bear Animation and cheesy elevator music.

Anyway, Lily's Antagonist decided she liked James, a lot (well, The Author decided for her).

So, Lily's Antagonist flounced over to James and asked if he was busy.

James replied in the negative.

Lily's Antagonist snogged James right then and there, in front of Lily.

Lily was suddenly consumed by a burning envy and hatred for Lily's Antagonist.

The Author was suddenly consumed by a burning desire to stop writing and sleep and leave the readers with a cliffhanger, mostly because The Author couldn't decide what to make Lily do next.


End file.
